There will be many occasions when you’ll take your child out to eat. Being preparing will make the experience more enjoyable.
- Try to find out beforehand what facilities will be available at the restaurant you choose: if you are booking a table, mention that you will be bringing small children, and find out whether there will be room for your child’s stroller, and whether a high chair can be provided if you need one
- Many children’s menus are very limited and offer just hamburgers, hot dogs, or fish sticks – all with fries. If you really don’t want your child to have these foods, ask whether you can order a small portion of a suitable dish from the main menu, and whether you will be changed full price for it
- Most children will enjoy the experience of eating out, and you should involve your child fully, allowing him to choose his own meal and to give his own order to the waiter if he is not too shy
- Bring along your child’s booster seat if he normally uses one. If you think he will have difficulty drinking from a glass, you could also bring along his training cup
- Many restaurants positively encourage children, and will be happy to provide straws for drinks, bibs and high chairs for young babies, and even small gifts such as paper hats or pictures to color in
Every parent knows that there are times when it is important either to reward good behavior or to offer a bribe in return for some form of cooperation.
Candy might seem like the most suitable reward, as it is always appreciated by children. However, you may feel that to give candy routinely as a reward undermines the consistency of your approach to candy-eating in general. There is no hard and fast rule on this, and there is no reason why you shouldn’t occasionally reward your child with candy as long as you make it clear that it is a onetime gift.
It’s worth making an effort, though, to devise other forms of reward: a favorite yogurt flavor, a small toy or a new box of crayons, or a specially extended bath time or bedtime story.
I don’t believe in placing a total ban on candy, because this can encourage children to be obsessive.
I do believe in rationing candy, though, and this always worked with my own children. If you let your child have one piece of candy after lunch and one after supper, and encourage him to brush his teeth afterward, you will be encouraging self-control, good eating habits, and good oral hygiene.
Try not to resort to fast food restaurants too often when you are out with your child and want to stop for something to eat. Most of the foods available in these restaurants – french fries, hamburgers, hot dogs, and sugary soft drinks – are high in salt, fats, or sugar, and low in nutrients. If you can, bring a supply of healthy snack foods with you, or choose somewhere that offers more healthy foods, such as sandwiches and salads. If your child particularly asks for hamburgers and fries, however, you may want to indulge him now and again – but make it clear that such foods are a special treat, to be eaten only occasionally. My family used to eat at a hamburger restaurant once a week for Saturday lunch. This satisfied everyone and is not so frequent as to damage good health.
A small baby can eat only what you give him, but an older child will have pronounced preferences about what he wants to eat, and the opportunity to follow them. There are likely to be more occasions when your child is eating outside the home, and while you obviously can’t account for every mouthful he eats, you should try to ensure that the good habits he has learned at home are not undermined once he starts to eat elsewhere.
If your child goes to playgroup, nursery school, or “real” school, try to make sure he has a good breakfast before he goes. If he doesn’t, he will become hungry again long before lunchtime, and both his temper and his concentration will be affected. A healthy midmorning snack like a piece of fruit or a cup of cereal will help tide him over until lunchtime. If food is going to be provided for him, try to find out what will be offered; if you are not satisfied, or if there are no arrangements to feed your child, then provide him with a nutritious packed lunch instead. Lunch need not always be sandwiches; you could give chicken pieces and potato salad, pieces of raw vegetables with a yogurt dip, or other foods that your child can eat with his fingers.
Children are often encouraged to try new foods because they see their friends eat them, and you may find once your child starts at playgroup or school that he starts to eat foods that he previously rejected at home.
It is important to prevent family meals from becoming a battlefield for more generalized family conflict. The association between food and love can be very close, and arguments about food and eating can be associated with tensions over other issues. In such cases food and eating behavior – for example, refusal to eat – can become a weapon that the child uses either to gain attention or to express anger, distress, and many other emotions. It is best, therefore, to be fairly easygoing about table etiquette with your child, to make mealtimes as relaxed as possible, and not to be drawn into arguments. Insist only on those aspects of table manners that you consider essential; refinements can come later.