After the first few weeks, when relatives and neighbors stop dropping by to offer congratulations, the novelty of being home alone with a new baby can wear off rapidly. Mothers who have given up a job or career may find that what they miss is not their work, but their work environment. They miss social interaction with their friends and colleagues. In particular, they miss the difference between work and home. With a young baby, you do not have the luxury of leaving your work behind.

Many people also find that making the transition from being a couple to being a family can prove more traumatic than they imagine. The dynamics in a relationship need to adapt to a new addition. Problems can arise when a couple finds it difficult to fit another person into the complex equation of human emotions that makes up a relationship.

4 years Children boast about their fathers outside the home and quote them as authorities. Some children may feel jealous of the time their fathers spend with their mothers and feel they are being deprived of maternal attention. If this is the case, a child may verbally express dislike for his father.

5 years By five years of age, children are likely to accept their father taking a caring role if mother is busy, ill, or away. Relationships with their father are generally smooth, pleasant, and undisturbed, and children often value special outings with their father. They often accept punishment better from mothers than fathers. Fathers may have more authority and tend to be disobeyed less.

Sibling relationships: Your child will enjoy the companionship of a sibling to play with, but don’t be surprised by quarrels, since these are quite normal.

Opposite pairing This involves pairing a solitary child with a child who is outgoing and sociable. By being seen as the friend of a popular child, the less socially adept child will gain a significantly higher level of social acceptance in a short time – in some cases as little as three weeks.

Younger pairing Pairing a child with poor social skills with a younger child can be another way of conferring status. A study carried out in the 1980s showed that when unpopular children, their level of popularity increased by at least 50 percent. Younger playmates offer positive social experiences to less socially adept children, which helps build their self- esteem and assertiveness.

Clique activities Although it might seem bad for children to form small, exclusive groups within a large group, allowing them to socialize in their preferred clique motivates them to get along with their peers outside the clique. Clique- based activities give children a sense of security and confidence about all social relationships.

Small groups It is sometimes mistakenly assumed that a child with poor social skills will socialize more easily when surrounded by a big group. In fact, small groupings are better at facilitating friendships because in a large group a child with poor social skills can remain very much in the background; in small group, he can’t be ignored as easily. A nursery school teacher can help by placing such a child in small group – say three or four children – and then extending the size of the group gradually.

Star responsibility Establishing definite roles, such as giving the most popular children responsible tasks to do, appears to have a settling effect on all children of nursery-school age. Tasks could include giving out the straws for milk or organizing cleaning up. Children will less developed social skills appear to benefit from this strategy as much as other children.

Reading to your child: Even after your child has begun to read for herself, reading to her will be a very valuable time of sharing and learning.

Let your child know that you regard reading as a pleasure. Have plenty of books in the house and make it clear to your child that they are all available for her to look at. Store her own books on low shelves where she can easily browse through them.

Choose books for your child that are visually appealing; first reading books should be short, with only a few pages, and should have large illustrations, large print, and a simple vocabulary. Be willing to read your child’s favorite books over and over again; she’ll eventually memorize the words, and when she is ready to start reading herself, the familiar words will be easier to recognize.

It is impossible to provide a totally safe environment for your child, but if you take precautions the risk of serious accidents can be greatly reduced. For example, ensure outdoor equipment is carefully installed and regularly checked for wear and damage.

• Young children should always be carefully supervised, and never left alone to play outdoors, especially in wading pools
• Play equipment such as slides and swings should be checked regularly for strength, stability, and sign of corrosion. They should be installed on a soft, flat surface, such as a grass or rubber padding- never on concrete
• Check all play equipment to ensure that there is no risk of scissoring, shearing, or pinching injuries and that surfaces are free from snags and splinters
• Instruct your children carefully on what they can and can’t do on play equipment
• Ensure that tents, playhouses, and tunnels are made of flame- retardant material
• Ensure sandboxes are covered when not in use to stop animals from fouling them
• Fence off ponds and pools
• Always empty a wading pool after use

The age at which children start kindergarten varies from community, but most children being at around age five. When making a decision about preschool and, if you have a choice, of kindergarten, try to narrow the choices to a manageable few and then make visits.

Prepare a checklist of important points so you do not forget any of them. For example, are the teachers relaxed or formal? Is it a happy environment? What is the standard of facilities? How many children are there, and are they well supervised? What subjects are taught? Does the school feel safe? Are the children happy?

Sit in on a few classes and spend a whole morning or afternoon there, and also speak to mothers whose children already attend. You will then have much of the information you need to decide.

Going to school: Starting school will be a great milestone for your child, and for you, too. You’ll both have to make adjustments: your child will discover a new and exciting world, and you will have to adjust to his newfound independence.

Options range from leaving the child with a relative or a hired caregiver in the child’s own home to having the child cared for along with a small group of children in someone else’s home or a larger group in a commercial day-care center.

For some children, day-care provides a transition from home to preschool. Under the best of circumstances, this is the case.

Determining if day-care is right for your child is a difficult issue. You must balance your child’s needs and readiness with your own needs and those of other family members.

 18- months- 2 years Your baby’s speech will become more complex during this time. He will probably have a vocabulary of about 30 words, including possessives- “mine” – and negatives – “won’t”- instead of simply “no.” He is staring to combine words to make simple statements, such as “ball gone” or questions: “Where Daddy?” He understands that conversation is a two- way thing and will wait his turn to speak; he uses language to give information, to ask for things, to tell how he feels, and to relate to other people.

Remember that he can understand a lot more words than he can use, so you can continue to help him by teaching him new words. Use adjectives whenever you can, and combine them with nouns: “Good boy,” “hot water,” “big dog.” Introduce adverbs, too: “Run quickly,” “Pat the dog gently.” When you use prepositions- “on,” “under,” “behind” – always show him what you mean.

2-3 years   Your toddler probably has a vocabulary of 200- 300 words by now, and he can talk at some length. He is interested in learning new words. His attention span is longer, and he will listen to you when you explain things or give reasons. He will still mispronounce words and may lisp, but his fluency and confidence are improving all the time. He can connect two ideas in a single sentence- “I get teddy and play in garden”- and can use pronounce such as “I,” “me,” and “you” correctly.

You can help your child increase his vocabulary by using unfamiliar words in your speech in such a way that he can guess at their meaning, ad repeat them frequently so that he can learn how they are used. Read to him often and explain new words as they arise. He will like to hear the same stories read over and over, and will be able to understand increasingly complicated narratives.

Your child’s use of language is becoming more social now, and he will talk more to other children than to adult, so contact with children is the best way to help him develop his abilities.

Shyness is something that affects many children. Common types of shy behavior include disliking new experiences, social gathering, talking to unfamiliar people, and difficulty in making friends.

Sharing: Young children are naturally selfish and usually begin to think of others only when they’re taught to do so. Your child has to understand that other children feel as she does before she is able to grasp the importance of thinking of other people feelings. Do not worry if your child seems to be slow in learning to share; it is very difficult, but with your patience she will successfully acquire this skill.

Toys for sharing: Encourage cooperation with others by getting your child to complete a puzzle such as this one with a friend.

Don’t think of shyness as something wrong with your child; many well-adjusted adults are quite shy. The best way of dealing with it is not by criticism or forcing change, but by preparing your child for any situation she’s likely to find difficult. Excessive shyness does not mean that your child is retreated, and you should avoid becoming overprotective and overanxious. In most cases, time and patience are all that is needed.

Toileting; bedwetting, soiling,

Eating problems: Overeating, under eating, pica.

Negativism,

Inappropriate sexual  behavior,

Bullying,

Biting,

Aggressiveness,

Lying, Stealing, Destructiveness, Severe Shyness, Severe fearfulness, Obsessive behavior.

Regardless of how loving and careful parents are in bringing up their children, sometimes things go wrong. The problems that arise may be temporary or off longer duration. For parents, such problems are frustrating since they may hear a great deal of contradictory “advice” from others, ranging from the need for more or less punishment, more affection or less indulgence to recommendations for various therapies. And often the child with behavior problems is shunned by her peers; hand in hand with that goes shunning of the child’s parents by the parents of her peers. All in all, it is a painful and isolating experience for the entire family.

Problem behavior ranges from bedwetting to destructiveness and inappropriate sexual behavior. Although all children periodically behave in ways that are unacceptable, such behavior is worrisome only when it is extreme and/ or persists over a long period of time. Parents may sometimes feel that a child with a behavioral problem is being manipulative or vindictive. It should be realized, however, that preschoolers are generally too young to behave in a calculated way. Rather than labeling the behavior, it is best to investigate what lies behind it.

It’s not easy to pin down a cause or causes of problem behavior – many problems may result from multiple contributing factors. Sometimes inborn chemistry or genetics plays a part, sometimes it’s a matter of environmental influences, and these may sometimes, but not always, be attributed to parenting shortcomings.

It is important that parents not take the full burden of responsibility on them- selves, either for the cause or the cure. If your child is exhibiting problems that persist, seem very different from those of other children her age, or do not yield to your reasonable approach, discuss the issue with your child’s doctor. You may be relieved to learn that your child’s behavior actually falls within the “normal” range. The solution may simply be a matter of altering your own approach or certain aspects of home life. On the other hand, the problem may require more specialized professional attention.

It is equally important not to avoid the problem or deny that it exists. Although it is a natural impulse to wish such difficulties away – insisting they are just a “phase” the child is going through or a peculiarity of her “nature” – great harm can be done to a child by deferring action. There’s a real possibility that the behavior is caused by an underlying factor that needs to be treated; it could be anything from bladder and bowel abnormalities, hearing or sight problems to a learning disabilities such as dyslexia, which may cause the child to behave inappropriately in school setting. And while her parents are hoping “it will pass,” the child may suffer in her social, physical, and intellectual development.

The best thing to do is face the problem, consult the pediatrician (and, if need be, other professionals), and work on solutions. The happy fact is that most children can be helped with remarkable speed if appropriate action is taken early on.