Isolation in the early years of childhood can have several long-term negative effects. Studies have shown that children who have problems interacting with their peers not only suffer in the preschool years but have more emotional difficulties in later life than “sociable” children. It is important to intervene early by trying to discover the underlying problem and treating or correcting it. Encouragingly, preschoolers seem better able to learn new social skills than older children or adults. The first signs that a child is a loner may appear when he starts nursery school. Whereas other children pair off or form groups, this child remains solitary. When children are asked to find a partner, he will be the last one left without a partner, and when asked to stand in a line, he will find himself at the back.

If you think that your child is being left out of social situations it is important to take steps to help his social development. Fortunately, preschool children can learn new social skills easily if helped by sympathetic staff and you.

Your little boy will have realized by the age of three that he will grow up to be a man, and he will become particularly interested in his father.

Your little boy will watch your partner and learn from him what it is to be a man. If your partner:

• Treats women, particularly you or his daughters, in a caring and considerate way, your little boy will believe that this is the correct way to treat women
• Sees other men as friends, your son will also find older men approachable
• Enjoys and participates in family life, your child will follow this example
• Resolves disputes with rudeness and violence, he will too

A sense of identity

Your little boy will gain his idea of what it is to grow up as a man by observing his father.

LOCOMOTION IN GIRLS: The age at which a specific milestone in locomotion is achieved will differ from child to child.

In the preschool years, some girls may appear to be better than boys at jumping, hopping, rhythmic movement, and balance. Girls seem to enjoy games that involve these skills- hopscotch, jump rope, and dancing games- though undoubtedly differences in accounts for this to a degree.

2 years: Your child is more fluent at ball games, both catching and kicking, and can walk backward as well as forward. He can go up and down stairs without holding on, putting both his feet on each step. He can now veer and swerve while running without falling over.

LOCOMOTION IN BOYS: In the preschool years, there is little difference between boys and girls in terms of strength and speed.

Young boys may well have fewer opportunities than girls to hone jumping, hopping, rhythmic movement, and balancing skills at play. You can help by allowing your little boy as much freedom of movement as he wants. Games that involve kicking a ball, dancing, or jumping will give him practice in this skills.

From the earliest days you should talk and sing to your baby. Her movements and sounds are her earliest attempts at speaking, so answer them to encourage her; make sure she can see your face clearly and make eye contact with her at all times, smile a lot, and exaggerate your mouth movements.

Feed her curiosity   Everything is new and interesting to your baby, so show her objects and give her a chance to hold them. By the age of two months, she will like to sit propped up so she can look around; put lots of small, soft toys within her reach where she can see and touch them. Talk to her as much as possible.

Encourage awareness of herself Your baby’s discovery of her own body is a gradual process. When she is about eight weeks old, you can start showing her her hands, and play simple physical games. By six months, she will smile at herself in the mirror.

PERCEPTION: Your baby experiences things through her senses just as you do, but she has to learn to single out what is important and what is not. Help her connect the information given by her different senses: show her a rattle, allow her to touch it, then shake it and draw her attention to the sound. Touch is one of the main ways that your baby explores her environment, so introduce her to lots of different textures.

Using a mirror

Point your baby’s reflection and say his name, so he starts to gain a sense of himself. You should use his name as often as possible to bolster his sense of individuality.

PERCEPTION GAMES

From an early stage, your baby can make basic distinctions between big and small. She will also show interest in new sights and sounds, so the following game, which can be carried out from four months, may be fun.

• Show your baby a card with a small circle above a large circle down it
• Next show her a card with a small triangle above a large triangle. She is already startling to see the relationship between the small and large shapes
• Now show her a card with a small diamond above a large diamond. Because this fits the pattern set by the first two, she will likely show no interest in it
• If you show her a card with a large triangle above a small one she will likely show renewed interest because the pattern of small above large has changed

Test cards

Your baby will be able to make quite sophisticated distinctions of pattern and shapes.

The severity of the child’s condition depends on whether he has any other learning disorders (such as dyslexia); whether he has any accompanying physical disorders (such as epilepsy), the type of education he has access to; and his personality or disposition, which will affect how he reacts to his disabilities. It is important to diagnose autism and associated disorders as early as possible to meet his individual needs.

The National Society for Autistic Children helps parents with autistic children, offers various publications on care and education and organizes conferences and workshops. Depending on the severity of the child’s autism, he will either be able to go to an ordinary school where he may receive extra help (about one in six autistic children go to an ordinary school), or will need to go to a special school for children with learning or developmental disorders.

Using sign language

If your child finds talking a problem, you can use a sign language to communicate – it can help to clarify your language to her.

Signs can be used to complement speech but not replace it.

What Parents Can Do: Most commonly an autistic child’s behavior is most problematic between the ages of two and five, and there may be an improvement between the ages of 6 and 12. As he grows up, the autistic child will probably become more responsive and sociable. Although no cure exists for autism, here are many different therapies designed to improve the behavior and adjustment of the autistic child:

Behavior modification This therapy concentrates on replacing dysfunctional behavior (tantrums, head banging, aggressiveness, and so on) with desirable behavior, using a system of rewards.

Relaxation and massage The child is taught how to relax using massage, music, touching, and verbal cues. Later, the verbal cues can be used on their own when the child shows sign of tension; because he associates them with feelings relaxed, they should dissipate the tension. Massage helps autistic children bond to people through touch.

Holding therapy This involves giving the autistic child plenty of hugs and cuddles, regardless of his indifference. The theory is that if one insists on holding the child, he will be comforted and reassured without the problem of having to initiate the interaction in the first place.

Speech therapy Some cases of autism are diagnosed by speech therapists, because poor language development is the first sign that parents notice. Speech therapy can also improve an autistic child’s communication skills. If the child doesn’t speak or his speech is very limited, he may be helped with a system called Total Communication, which includes signing as a language facilitator.

Psychotherapy This involves working with all the family so that parents understand the behavior of the autistic child. In some cases, the child might receive individual psychotherapy.

Your baby doesn’t need only to be changed and fed: he needs the kind of loving attention that you would give him yourself if he is to learn to interact and become a sociable child.

Baby-sitters These care for your child during the day in your home or theirs. They may care for more than one child. Depending on local regulations, they may or may not be licensed by a public agency.

Nanny or mother’s helper You can find one through agencies, by advertising locally, or in a newspaper or magazine. Although this kind of help can be expensive, you might consider sharing a nanny with another family. Parents’ groups may be able to put you in touch with other mothers interested in sharing a nanny.

Day-care centers Run privately or by local authorities, these often have long waiting lists and usually only a small number of places for babies. You may get priority if you are a single parent.

Day-care centers (work-places) Perhaps you are very lucky and have enlightened employers who it possible to take your baby to work with you. This means you can continue breastfeeding and have your baby close by all day. If there is a day-care center at your workplace, make sure you reserve a space before your baby is born.

Now your child is socializing with children of his own age, whether at nursery school or at play, he will have new concerns of which you will become aware.

• Clothes are one of the first ways of expressing individuality, and children may identify themselves with a particular peer group by the clothes they wear. By the time your child reaches nursery school age, he will probably want to select his clothes each day.
• Encourage his sense of identity and independence by having a flexible attitude toward clothes
• Toys, sports equipment, any sort of collection – such as a stamp or sticker collection – books, and comics are all powerful indicators of status among children. Even earning money for doing odd jobs is a sign of prowess
• Academic or athletic success and popularity also confer distinction. Some children also derive status from their parents – a high profile or professional career, affluence, or being well- traveled are all things that carry prestige
• If you feel that your child attaches too much value to a particular thing, or values something that is inappropriate, help him reassess priorities and perhaps reward him for some achievement  that you consider worthy

SOCIAL GROUPS: Although children do not fit into rigid stereotypes, there are some common features in most groups of preschool children. Some children seem to be popular with everyone; others may be rejected by the group. Some children evoke neither strong negative nor positive feelings in others, leaving them with neither enemies nor friends. And even in preschool, children form cliques. The “star” is the child who is popular with everyone; the “rejectee” tends to be least popular; the “neglectee” doesn’t evoke strong feelings in other children and, although he doesn’t have any enemies, he probably has no friends; and the “clique” is a small group of children who repeatedly seek out each other’s company.

The problems experienced by a child who is actively rejected are obvious and usually quickly spotted by teachers. Children who are ignored by their peers, however, may suffer a form of social isolation that is more subtle but equally damaging. Such children are typically quite, reserved, and may blend into the background.

In the U.S. each year roughly 5,000 babies are born with cerebral palsy and another 1,500 develop it after birth. It is a disorder that affects both boys and girls from all races and social backgrounds.

WHAT CAUSES CEREBRAL PALSY

Cerebral palsy is caused by an injury to the brain, usually before, around, or soon after the time of birth. Cases of such injury include a difficult or preterm birth, perhaps because the baby fails to breath properly; cerebral bleeding, which may occur in preterm babies; or bleeding into cavities of the brain (intraventricular hemorrhage), which may also occur in preterm babies; or an infection on the mother during the first weeks of pregnancy – German measles or cytomegalovirus, for example. Occasionally, the brain is formed abnormally for no obvious reason, or the disorder is inherited even if both parents are healthy.

TYPES OF CEREBRAL PALSY

If a child has cerebral palsy, it means that part of his brain either is not working properly or has not developed normally. The affected area is usually one of the parts of the brain that control the muscles and certain body movements; the disease interferes with the messages that normally pass from the brain to the body. In some children, cerebral palsy is hardly noticeable at all; others are more severely affected. No two children will be affected in quite the same way. There are three different types of cerebral palsy:

Spastic cerebral palsy Here, the cortex, which is the outer layer of the brain and controls thought, movement, and sensation, is affected. Tight and sometimes jerky muscle movements result.

Athetoid cerebral palsy This type involves the basal ganglia, groups of cells lying deep within the brain. The basal ganglia promote organized, graceful, and economical movement, so an abnormality can cause movements that are bending and wavelike.

Playing together: Children will often play next to each other even if they are not involved in the same game.

By the time your child reaches age four, he is likely to be able to play with other children in an interactive and sustained way. The members of your child’s group may change rapidly and there may not be an allegiance to a special friend at this stage, though girls are more likely than boys to pair off with a particular friend. Although children may tease peers of the opposite sex, gender is not usually a criterion for selecting friends- neither is race.

By age five, children tend to select a single playmate, but their play is not necessarily interactive: children often “parallel play,” occupying the same area but doing different things. The most frequent grouping is two children of the same gender, but even at this age, gender is not a major criterion for making new friends.

Although group play demands some cooperation from children, this is quite superficial, since children can often play with their own ends in mind and have little concern for the group as a whole.

At the age of four, relationships with siblings can be turbulent. A child is old enough to be a nuisance to older siblings and can be selfish, rough, and impatient with younger siblings. Quarrels and physical fights over toys and possessions are common, as are complaints about fairness: “He’s got more than me!”

A five-year-old child is usually good with younger brothers and sisters. Girls, especially, can be protective and kind toward younger members of the family, and are helpful rather than domineering.  Having said this, a five-year-old is still too young to be responsible for younger siblings; although a child may take on a caring role while an adult id present, he may resort to testing when left alone with a brother or sister. Five-year-olds usually interact well with older siblings, sometimes adopting a baby role in domestic play.

REJECTION: Although it is unusual, some parents emotionally reject their children, and this can express itself in criticism and unfavorable comparisons with siblings.

The consequences of parental rejection can be acute. Signs of profound insecurity in a rejected child can be as follows:

• Excessive fear or shyness
• Crying a lot
• Aggressiveness and tantrums
• Jealousy and attention-seeking
• Excessive clinging to mother, thumb-sucking, or masturbation
• Bedwetting or soiling
• Physical tics
• Head-banging
• Bullying, stealing, or lying
• Cruelty to animals