When twins are hungry, it’s often easiest to sit them nest to one another and feed them together with the same food; they may sleep in the same crib when they are small, and they may prefer to play at the same time with the same toys. When your twins are of the same sex, look alike, or have similar temperaments, it’s easier to treat them very much alike, but I think it’s better to treat twins as individuals right from the start. Don’t chose names that sound alike, and try to distinguish your babies’ differing needs and responses. It can be particularly difficult for people outside the immediate family to treat identical twins as separate individual, but it’s very important that they should. It’s easier when twins themselves show their different personalities and you encourage them to do so.
Individuality : Encourage each twin’s sense of identity and individuality by dressing them differently.
THE SPACIAL BOND: Being one of a close-knit pair of twins has advantages and disadvantages. Twins often become very close to each other and are central figures in each other’s lives. The relationship between them can seem far stronger and more influential than any other. It is based on many feelings and experiences in common and a profound, intimate knowledge of each other. Their closeness gives twins an annual opportunity to see how things look to someone else – an opportunity that singletons have only rarely. These close ties can give twins great security and are in many ways a source of strength. On the other hand, some twins struggle very hard for separateness and seem actively to reject one another, despite having abilities and attitudes in common.
TALKING TO TWINS: When single babies start to talk, adults or older children notice and encourage them. With twins, each child is given less attention so twins usually talk and listen to one another and may even invent a private language. Although twins’ speech may start late and then develop slowly, in time their ability to hold a conversation improves. If you want to speed that improvement, it probably helps if you talk to your babies separately. It’s easy to forget to forget to talk to young children if you are very tired and feeling overworked, and peace and quiet may be precious. It’s through taking part in play and learning to talk with you and your partner, however, that children learn language and how to use it.
